I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize