I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
