i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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