at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We smell like vodka and hangover
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