the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
