you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
