I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
