; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
