Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
