physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
