Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
