too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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