Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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