party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize