We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
