After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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