i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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