You're my little dorito
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
