Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
