another moral hangover. fuck.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
