If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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