but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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