well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
