Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
