You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
