Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
