So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wear drunk well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
