he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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