we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
