remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
