Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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