I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
