I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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