I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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