that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
