Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize