I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize