So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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