actually, I'm a sock model
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
