dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize