last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
