i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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