It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
