Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
