Non-Jews are for practice
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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