A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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