in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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