just tell him i said nine months
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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