If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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