white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This baby is an asshole
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
