He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
