do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
