she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
