What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
