Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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