No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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