hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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