Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
