Where did you get a picture of my penis
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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