There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize