So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize