The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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