they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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