kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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