Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize