Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They have beer where we have blood.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize