They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
