the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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