When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You've changed since you got that strap on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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