hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
