im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
