So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
