Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize