420 ftw
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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