I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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